Last week my college friend referenced a fact that on Facebook everybody's kids are honor students, husbands perfect, homes exceptional, and women strong and fit. Others chimed in that Facebook might better be characterized as Fake Book. My response was as follows:
- I like to think it is all our effort to look at the positive! I think we know it is never as good as it appears. You guys don't fool me...haha...and trust me nothing is near perfect in the Larson house!!
Missy Wassum Greenhaw ours either Tiffany Braswell Larson!
- Tiffany Braswell Larson Maybe one day we should all share what is wrong in our life...just get it all out there...could be incredibly therapeutic!
- Tiffany Braswell Larson I'll start: I'm trying to sneak quinoa into a meatloaf but I can already tell it was a bad idea and the kids are going to hate it. My cat is also sitting in my sink.
Missy Wassum Greenhaw That might work. Instead of #MCM or #TBT we could have #HonestySaturday and everyone could air their impecfections...
- Missy Wassum Greenhaw OK, currently my hair isn't dry or "fixed" and I have dead flowers in my pots on the porch --just can't seem to remember to water them.
- Tiffany Braswell Larson Glad you got that off your chest Missy. Speaking of chest, my boobs keep getting closer to my belly...that is also wrong.
- Missy Wassum Greenhaw LOL! That is wrong and no amount of Instagram cropping or filter can fix that!
- Tiffany Braswell Larson ...honestly the swimsuit I ordered matches the description of a suspension bridge.."external sling system, side seam stays, 360 degree support, built-in underwire, solid moldings, wide, adjustable double straps...yep..we got it rough!
- Missy Wassum Greenhaw Tiffany--why do we not live closer to each other! Miss you!
- Missy, I think you're going to have to introduce me to Tiffany. Too funny, girls!
Today, Trey's West Bend Thunder baseball team won the championship at a 3-day tourny. I posted that on Facebook. We also engaged in a unfortunate verbal exchange about chores and responsibilities. I did not post that on Facebook! When the family got home from their weekend and lazed around for a good hour I instructed him to clean his room, already labeled a "pig-sty" by his dad on Friday. After about 5 minutes I went to his room to check his progress. I was puzzled to see his dirty clothes bin full, I could have sworn I emptied it and did all the laundry on Saturday; one of the primary reasons I did not attend the tourny until Sunday. No joke moms, it's perfectly understandable why some days we feel like we are going crazy; we are doing their laundry but rather than hang up their clean clothes they deposit them directly back into the dirty bin. I was furious and called for back-up, which I'm not sure is actually the fire-power necessary. I suspect Trey's mentor shares, genetically, a similar cleaning strategy.
Nonetheless, eventually the point was made that Trey's actions were disrespectful and dishonorable, especially to his mom. In addition father's play a critical role at teaching sons to respect and demonstrate honor to women, particularly their mothers. I had recorded last weeks Joel Osteen message which coincidentally was about healthy family relationships, respect, sharing blessings of honor on parents, children, and spouses so we had a family movie night. It wasn't a perfect evening, (certainly the kids rolled their eyes at having to listen to a sermon) but I don't strive for perfection as that would definitely make me crazy! Instead it was progress. Rather than ending on a sour note we ended with a prayer. A prayer for their last week of school, a prayer of praise for parents, a prayer of thanksgiving for our healthy kids, a prayer of guidance for the summer. It will never be perfect, but as Joel Osteen suggested, focus on the 80% of what is right, rather than the 20% of what is wrong. Parenting is hard... I will never be perfect but my intentions and values are consistent. Healthy, responsible kids who respect their family and choose to do what is right. We clearly have a ways to go yet but I for one choose to stay the course of being the parent first....we can be friends when they are older!
I had thought about taking pictures of everything that is "wrong" in our house; the unmade beds, the dirty litter boxes; the fact we are all sharing 1 bathroom as the other two are being renovated; but you all know that because that stuff exists in your life too. That is all the normal stuff and, oddly enough it's that stuff we think is "wrong" which actually makes us right. The out of place, unorganized, lost keys makes us normal; we are not perfect. We post the special things on Facebook because those are abnormal, unusual, and rather extraordinary. It's the regular day-to-day, the normal confrontations and interactions, that we keep private. We know, we all know, I suspect it exists in every house. Nobody is perfect. Nobody wins every tournament, every dance competition, breaks every record, scores the winning shot, surprises you with a party, or fits perfectly into a swimsuit. Don't ever think what we share on Facebook is "normal." If you want to see normal, come on over to my house!
The Dramatic Conclusion to our NEGATIVE SHARING DAY:
- Tiffany Braswell Larson I know this was supposed to be a totally negative thread but thought I would share a small triumph...don't be jealous!.. the quinoa meatloaf did not result in complete anarchy and outrage as expected..it helps that I told them it was brown rice. The swimsuit arrived...maximally supportive, a suitable harness, but not much breathing room...even with the emergency double straps in their full, extended position. Might opt for one size up...this will be about the 14th return from Athletica and Title 9 since my efforts began in March...but I'm close...I am so close to finding THE ONE! Thanks for the sisterhood!
- Missy Wassum Greenhaw Go Tiff! The dreaded swimsuit pursuit is the worst! Hopefully you have free shipping both ways....
Obviously, I count my blessings. This blog is partly a parody that my "struggles" are with the day-to-day. My kids are healthy, our bills get paid, our marriage is intact. None of it is perfect but thankfully all of it is quite normal. Facebook also calls our attention to the difficulties that surround us and the needs that exist. I am grateful for this on-line community that we pull together in times of true struggles and loss, there is value in community in both joyous and difficult times. Thank you for reading.