While nobody wants to be a hypocrite, plenty of well-respected people have found themselves in the exact situation of eating their words, swallowing their pride, sacrificing their self-respect. Espousing virtuous ideas while their subversive actions defame their character. I do align my life with a spiritual frame of reference, thus I have some comfort and knowledge that Jesus came for us imperfect people.... hypocrites, liars, and thieves. Just recently our sermon text was the Samaritan woman, facing a death sentence by stoning for adultery. The pharoses asked Jesus' opinion on her pending doom. His kind words of challenge, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone," gracefully
reconcile me, just as they did the Samaritan woman, from worldly judgment. No offense, but I can quite confidently attest that we all have our dirt, our elephants, our salacious sin however it's not my place to judge anyone. For this reason, I feel comfortable confessing my own transgressions with you today---the modern day Samaritan woman.
reconcile me, just as they did the Samaritan woman, from worldly judgment. No offense, but I can quite confidently attest that we all have our dirt, our elephants, our salacious sin however it's not my place to judge anyone. For this reason, I feel comfortable confessing my own transgressions with you today---the modern day Samaritan woman.
I met a group of girlfriends for doubles tennis yesterday. You would have thought we were watching the comedy channel based on our hysterical laughter. One moment our game was invincible, super human-like, and the next moment we were ducking to miss the errant serves by our partners. (The courts are sparse at the noon hour so our lack of etiquette does not distract!). I had not played with my friends since May so it was particularly refreshing to get back on the court and feel the cathartic
effects of friendship, laughter and the realization that we are all far from perfect tennis players...far from perfect people.
effects of friendship, laughter and the realization that we are all far from perfect tennis players...far from perfect people.
During change-over we were discussing the haul of sugar laden loot the kids
collected a few days earlier. In my home, the moments preceding
trick-or-treating were rather volatile. Auburn was planning to trick or
treat with a couple of friends and there was a haughty reluctance on her part to
include her sweet brother Trey. He was aware of her disdain and felt bad about being the third wheel. Side note: He always seems sweet to me when she is being mean to him, as like most younger brothers, he does admire her and would do anything to be her friend. It made me heartsick. Where was the extension of love, compassion and kindness....where did I go wrong?
collected a few days earlier. In my home, the moments preceding
trick-or-treating were rather volatile. Auburn was planning to trick or
treat with a couple of friends and there was a haughty reluctance on her part to
include her sweet brother Trey. He was aware of her disdain and felt bad about being the third wheel. Side note: He always seems sweet to me when she is being mean to him, as like most younger brothers, he does admire her and would do anything to be her friend. It made me heartsick. Where was the extension of love, compassion and kindness....where did I go wrong?
Trey left the house in his JJ Watt costume to start trick or treating alone at
which time coincidentally my mother-in-law happened to visit. While she questioned me as to Trey's lonesome figure, Ron was scolding Auburn. At the same time her friends escaped to accompany Trey. Thus they began the festive sport of candy hunting while I cried and Auburn bemoaned her fate at being related to such despicable parents. With a few more lectures, eye rolling, tears, and the removal of her security blanket(coincidentally called by Samsung, "Your Life Companion" ) all 4 kids could finally be seen together happily scouring the neighborhood.
which time coincidentally my mother-in-law happened to visit. While she questioned me as to Trey's lonesome figure, Ron was scolding Auburn. At the same time her friends escaped to accompany Trey. Thus they began the festive sport of candy hunting while I cried and Auburn bemoaned her fate at being related to such despicable parents. With a few more lectures, eye rolling, tears, and the removal of her security blanket(coincidentally called by Samsung, "Your Life Companion" ) all 4 kids could finally be seen together happily scouring the neighborhood.
As I sat on the couch, my mother in
law's confession that she too was a "mean girl" at Auburn's age offered me minimal solace...(although perhaps I could blame DNA rather than poor parenting for her snarky behavior.) In addition, after such a dramatic conflict, Ron morphed much too easily into relaxed candy distributor. My recovery was slower. I sought comfort for my emotional turmoil and quickly spied it in our Costco bag of assorted candy bar mini's. Yes, Ron had bought the good stuff this Halloween and I willingly overindulged. The butterfingers were band aids, the snickers were psychologists, the Reeces cups were the harmonious blend of complimentary flavors I crave for my family life. This sugar fix created a momentary calmness. My sweet chemical receptors were tranquilized as was my emotional fervor.
law's confession that she too was a "mean girl" at Auburn's age offered me minimal solace...(although perhaps I could blame DNA rather than poor parenting for her snarky behavior.) In addition, after such a dramatic conflict, Ron morphed much too easily into relaxed candy distributor. My recovery was slower. I sought comfort for my emotional turmoil and quickly spied it in our Costco bag of assorted candy bar mini's. Yes, Ron had bought the good stuff this Halloween and I willingly overindulged. The butterfingers were band aids, the snickers were psychologists, the Reeces cups were the harmonious blend of complimentary flavors I crave for my family life. This sugar fix created a momentary calmness. My sweet chemical receptors were tranquilized as was my emotional fervor.
The purpose of this recollection was not to highlight my kids' poor behavior; I'm sure all siblings have both their moments of love and
spite, but rather acknowledge my impulsive, emotional response to their behavior was poor...particularly given my knowledge of sugar and its effect on
our mood and physiology. Fortunately the following day I left early to attend an 8 hour TRX workshop on Madison...I would be free from my secret desire to invade the candy bowl.
spite, but rather acknowledge my impulsive, emotional response to their behavior was poor...particularly given my knowledge of sugar and its effect on
our mood and physiology. Fortunately the following day I left early to attend an 8 hour TRX workshop on Madison...I would be free from my secret desire to invade the candy bowl.
So, returning back to our tennis game, one of my friends was complaining about the amount of candy wrappers she discovered stuffed under couch cushions. She was contemplating the risk versus reward of educating her daughter as to the fat content, calories, health effects of consuming so much candy. In addition, she felt there was a break of trust as it had been clear the candy was off-limits without permission. My opinion was it was dangerous territory to lay out all the wrappers and potentially shame a pubescent's choices; particularly because I knew darn well I did the same thing at 42. My "closet" eating around this time of year is done to preserve and protects my identity, my reputation. How can I keep us living in the holy land of healthy choices if the family discovers I am living in Candy Land? I chimed in however that I agreed education is always appropriate and I referred my friends to the recent informative sugar article by Kris Carr. Although I agreed with them that sugar can be an addictive substance, I took the high road and pretended that I rarely touch the stuff.
When I came home I had a healthy snack but even in my light, happy, relaxed mood that Costco bag of candy still looked tempting. Tempting even after I had counseled my friends on the deleterious effects of sugar to our system. Once again I started to eat those mini candies..."mini" but many. Guilt compelled me to text one of my friends:
Me: Forget about what I said earlier about candy and
sugar...it is soooo good and I can't stop eating the stuff. At least I have eaten all the butter fingers so they can't tempt me anymore."
Funny Friend: Ahhhhh....you crack me up! That was my theory last night with the Snickers, but I keep finding more. It's like crack and I can't stop! I'm going to get those
scabs and lose my teeth! :(
Me: Why do we care? We can be sick and toothless. Enjoy the momentary pleasure of sugar.
Funny Friend: We can be, but not our husbands. I scolded mine several times last night for digging in the kids' candy bowl! It's very hard being perfect and having to eat my sugar in the bathroom!
Me: Amen sister...Remember those tv evangelists like Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert? That's me, only I'm cheating with my lover named Sugar!"
sugar...it is soooo good and I can't stop eating the stuff. At least I have eaten all the butter fingers so they can't tempt me anymore."
Funny Friend: Ahhhhh....you crack me up! That was my theory last night with the Snickers, but I keep finding more. It's like crack and I can't stop! I'm going to get those
scabs and lose my teeth! :(
Me: Why do we care? We can be sick and toothless. Enjoy the momentary pleasure of sugar.
Funny Friend: We can be, but not our husbands. I scolded mine several times last night for digging in the kids' candy bowl! It's very hard being perfect and having to eat my sugar in the bathroom!
Me: Amen sister...Remember those tv evangelists like Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert? That's me, only I'm cheating with my lover named Sugar!"
Welcome to the holiday season! I typically minimize junk and processed foods in our home. My family thinks I do it to help them be healthier, which is partially true, but in my heart I know I have an addictive, stress oriented response to sugar. The past 6 months I have been quite successful cleaning up my diet but I know this time of year holds extra challenges. The triggers that cause an alcoholic to reach for a drink, a smoker to reach for a cigarette, a compulsive shopper to reach for their credit card are similar to what causes a person to binge on sugar. An unfortunate, addictive reaction to a circumstance they feel
powerless to control.
powerless to control.
I feel better now. I am back to making healthy recipes, the extra candy was taken to Ron's office, and the kids' candy remains in their respective rooms. Yes, Auburn's candy bowl sits right on her dresser and ironically it has about
the same amount of candy in it today as it did Saturday. I can attest, if it was in my room, it would now be empty and collecting coins. Trey has his in a secret place far from his mom's watchful eye. They have better self-control and have not adopted the unhealthy practice of emotional eating when stressed. Clearly it is an area I need extra work. Like most addictions, admitting there is an issue rather than denial is likely the first step to successful change!
the same amount of candy in it today as it did Saturday. I can attest, if it was in my room, it would now be empty and collecting coins. Trey has his in a secret place far from his mom's watchful eye. They have better self-control and have not adopted the unhealthy practice of emotional eating when stressed. Clearly it is an area I need extra work. Like most addictions, admitting there is an issue rather than denial is likely the first step to successful change!
Exercise has always been non-negotiable in my life. Whether Pilates, running,
TRX, tennis...my body responds well physically and emotionally to movement. I don't exercise as punishment for what I eat, I just need to develop my healthy eating habit as strong as my exercise habit. It's a privilege for me to share the joy of exercise and movement with others and for that reason I am steadfast that being a trainer and instructor fits my personality perfectly. I am not however a dietician nor nutritionist and am grateful for those internet sites and individuals that offer counsel for maintaining healthy eating practices for my family. Some of my favorite
resources include:
http://mywholefoodlife.com/
http://wholenewmom.com/
http://consciouscleanse.com/
http://kriscarr.com/
And for those moments that I think I must be messing up everything, I love to read Glennon Doyle's posts at Momastery where she reassures me in beautiful prose and
expression that often our personal "battles" are both created and laid to rest simply by the power of our minds. Her site honors truth tellers and hope spreaders and makes us believe that just showing up, being present, allows
us to do hard things... like saying no to the sweet stuff. Thank you for reading!
http://momastery.com/
TRX, tennis...my body responds well physically and emotionally to movement. I don't exercise as punishment for what I eat, I just need to develop my healthy eating habit as strong as my exercise habit. It's a privilege for me to share the joy of exercise and movement with others and for that reason I am steadfast that being a trainer and instructor fits my personality perfectly. I am not however a dietician nor nutritionist and am grateful for those internet sites and individuals that offer counsel for maintaining healthy eating practices for my family. Some of my favorite
resources include:
http://mywholefoodlife.com/
http://wholenewmom.com/
http://consciouscleanse.com/
http://kriscarr.com/
And for those moments that I think I must be messing up everything, I love to read Glennon Doyle's posts at Momastery where she reassures me in beautiful prose and
expression that often our personal "battles" are both created and laid to rest simply by the power of our minds. Her site honors truth tellers and hope spreaders and makes us believe that just showing up, being present, allows
us to do hard things... like saying no to the sweet stuff. Thank you for reading!
http://momastery.com/
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