As our daughter adjusts to her new home at her namesake college, Auburn University, I have a moment for reflection. In particular, a special email gave me both pause, relief, and a desire to share it here. It may be helpful advice for any teen or tween entering a new school. As is often the case, the wisdom is relevant regardless of age.
Summer has been filled with graduation parties, new jobs for the kids, preparing for dorm-life, and a couple of cross-country transits from Wisconsin to Alabama. It has been a summer of growth with Auburn completing her job at the bank and developing her own "home-training" business coaching young basketball players. Besides serving for 7 weeks at Fort Wilderness as a lead at the riflery range, Trey also completed a 40 hour life-guard certification course. I feel safer with his CPR and AED expertise as there have been a few moments where I thought my own heart might stop as I watch my kids cautiously and sometimes eagerly step into new adventures.
Summer has been filled with graduation parties, new jobs for the kids, preparing for dorm-life, and a couple of cross-country transits from Wisconsin to Alabama. It has been a summer of growth with Auburn completing her job at the bank and developing her own "home-training" business coaching young basketball players. Besides serving for 7 weeks at Fort Wilderness as a lead at the riflery range, Trey also completed a 40 hour life-guard certification course. I feel safer with his CPR and AED expertise as there have been a few moments where I thought my own heart might stop as I watch my kids cautiously and sometimes eagerly step into new adventures.
Auburn had a faithful group of young athletes meet for private lessons each week.
Groups ranged in age from 3rd-6th grade. Stay tuned as she plans to offer clinics during upcoming holiday breaks!
In addition to his lifeguard certification, Trey obtained his driver's license and Auburn's vehicle! Perfect timing.
We moved Auburn into her dorm on August 9th. She has a fantastic room-mate from Pennsylvania and the parents became fast friends too.
They could be sisters!
These girls are from Georgia, New York, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin and they met one another at the dorm. We took a little trip to Chewacla State Park and a hot trail hike to the rocks and waterfalls.
Auburn has always demonstrated a maturity and awareness that exceeds her parents! As much as I would like to commend myself for equipping her to live independently, the reality is we simply got out of her way and for many years she has followed her own best instinct. That came to light today when I was included in a special email she penned for her 9th grade cousin who lives in Raleigh, North Carolina. I thought her personal experiences and advice might provide some encouragement to others.
Hey Aunt Shannon,
I saw your last email and thought maybe you could pass on my advice to Lindsey. Thanks!
Lindsey,
I totally understand what you are going through. Going to a new school is terrifying. I just started school 900+ miles away from home with 23,000 kids and I knew 3 of them. It's intimidating because you don't know where you will fit in, who will be your friends etc. I myself am not super outgoing. I've always been more reserved and calm, totally fine with letting my loud friends be the center of attention, which I feel like is how you are too. I know from pictures it probably looks like I'm loving Auburn, that I made so many friends in my sorority or whatever but the truth is I haven't. All my bid day pictures were with girls I didn't know I honestly couldn't tell you most of their names. Every time we have an event I get nervous because even though I've met lots of sweet girls, I know other girls in there have best friends from home. I'm sure going to a new school this could be the same for you, girls have already made friends from years ago and you feel like the odd one out. As much as it may seem that way I promise you there are other girls feeling the exact same way as you are but you just don't know that yet. You will find your group and create so many friendships but the only way to do that is to go to things like football games, dances, or by joining sports and clubs. In Chi Omega, we have an event every day for 14 days. They aren't mandatory but I go to every one because I know that I will meet people, learn names, and they will then also know me. I've asked girls to go grab coffee or get lunch and the only thing I know about them is their name. Sometimes you just have to go out on a limb.
I'm sure you are nervous about this football game but putting it off will only make you more nervous for school. This would be a great time to introduce yourself, see where other girls are from and start establishing connections. Good friendships take time but having a few more familiar faces never hurts. I didn't know the names of the girls in my math but I recognized them from Chio and it made me feel so much more comfortable.This football game could end up being really awkward but sometimes that's just how things go. Bid night I sang karaoke and danced in front of 78 girls I didn't know. As uncomfortable as it was, we all felt that way and it gave me a place to start building new friendships in a place that was very unfamiliar for me. High school is so fun. Tonight is East's first football game of the season and I'm so jealous of all the kids who get to go stand in the student section all dressed up. Those were always my favorites and these 4 years will go so fast pretty soon it will be your last football game. Embrace being uncomfortable and find someone who feels similar to how you do. Don't worry about trying to be in some big group of friends. I went into freshman year in a group of 15 and came out senior year only good friends with 3 of those girls. People change so much in high school so the girls that seem to be best friends now most likely won't be in 4 years. Sorry this got kind of long! Just wanted you to know that I am in the same boat and am experiencing similar things. I hope you can go tonight and try to find even just one girl who you can relate to. It's really not as scary as it seems, I think all freshmen are nervous and intimidated by high school. I know I was. Love you!
Love,
Auburn
I saw your last email and thought maybe you could pass on my advice to Lindsey. Thanks!
Lindsey,
I totally understand what you are going through. Going to a new school is terrifying. I just started school 900+ miles away from home with 23,000 kids and I knew 3 of them. It's intimidating because you don't know where you will fit in, who will be your friends etc. I myself am not super outgoing. I've always been more reserved and calm, totally fine with letting my loud friends be the center of attention, which I feel like is how you are too. I know from pictures it probably looks like I'm loving Auburn, that I made so many friends in my sorority or whatever but the truth is I haven't. All my bid day pictures were with girls I didn't know I honestly couldn't tell you most of their names. Every time we have an event I get nervous because even though I've met lots of sweet girls, I know other girls in there have best friends from home. I'm sure going to a new school this could be the same for you, girls have already made friends from years ago and you feel like the odd one out. As much as it may seem that way I promise you there are other girls feeling the exact same way as you are but you just don't know that yet. You will find your group and create so many friendships but the only way to do that is to go to things like football games, dances, or by joining sports and clubs. In Chi Omega, we have an event every day for 14 days. They aren't mandatory but I go to every one because I know that I will meet people, learn names, and they will then also know me. I've asked girls to go grab coffee or get lunch and the only thing I know about them is their name. Sometimes you just have to go out on a limb.
I'm sure you are nervous about this football game but putting it off will only make you more nervous for school. This would be a great time to introduce yourself, see where other girls are from and start establishing connections. Good friendships take time but having a few more familiar faces never hurts. I didn't know the names of the girls in my math but I recognized them from Chio and it made me feel so much more comfortable.This football game could end up being really awkward but sometimes that's just how things go. Bid night I sang karaoke and danced in front of 78 girls I didn't know. As uncomfortable as it was, we all felt that way and it gave me a place to start building new friendships in a place that was very unfamiliar for me. High school is so fun. Tonight is East's first football game of the season and I'm so jealous of all the kids who get to go stand in the student section all dressed up. Those were always my favorites and these 4 years will go so fast pretty soon it will be your last football game. Embrace being uncomfortable and find someone who feels similar to how you do. Don't worry about trying to be in some big group of friends. I went into freshman year in a group of 15 and came out senior year only good friends with 3 of those girls. People change so much in high school so the girls that seem to be best friends now most likely won't be in 4 years. Sorry this got kind of long! Just wanted you to know that I am in the same boat and am experiencing similar things. I hope you can go tonight and try to find even just one girl who you can relate to. It's really not as scary as it seems, I think all freshmen are nervous and intimidated by high school. I know I was. Love you!
Love,
Auburn
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