
New Year's Eve took the lid off our "Joy Jar." Through weeks and months of 2014 I recorded momentous events, daily blessings, general achievements, or simply funny experiences. The intent of the Joy Jar is to focus on the positive, praise what is right and good, and teach us to acknowledge simple abundance. The kids and Ron admit, they did not routinely record memories, they left that up to me, and sometimes I was less than faithful at adding to our collection. So, although an incomplete set, the brief excerpts still accomplish a stroll down 2014 Memory Lane.(I recommend the exercise for all families.)
Sketchy phrases on post-it notes including, "Auburn inducted into the NJHS;" "Trey, Dad and friends to Thadeus Lake in Canada catching their first Musky;" "Dancing at Cousin Mike and Ashley's wedding;" or "Seeing the two of you get along and play when I threatened to take you to the library," evoked humorous, pleasant recollections as we gathered in the living room New Year's Eve afternoon. School cancellations due to minus 50 degree temperatures, basketball triumphs, 4.0 for Trey, and summer fun with Trey's youth group on the lake were memories, once lost, but revived via the Joy Jar.
Sketchy phrases on post-it notes including, "Auburn inducted into the NJHS;" "Trey, Dad and friends to Thadeus Lake in Canada catching their first Musky;" "Dancing at Cousin Mike and Ashley's wedding;" or "Seeing the two of you get along and play when I threatened to take you to the library," evoked humorous, pleasant recollections as we gathered in the living room New Year's Eve afternoon. School cancellations due to minus 50 degree temperatures, basketball triumphs, 4.0 for Trey, and summer fun with Trey's youth group on the lake were memories, once lost, but revived via the Joy Jar.

Much like Facebook's Year in Review backlash however, I anticipated that certain events identified as "joys," may unfortunately now be recalled with pain. Even Ron, who I accuse of being insensitive, said he immediately deleted the FB Year in Review on his and Trey's account as the events displayed were calculated according to a cold, unfeeling algorithm. This algorithm did not consider that many popular posts might actually create an extreme emotional response, some happy but others quite sad. While I agree with the sentiment, "That's life....ups and downs, joy and pain," the purpose of my Joy Jar was not to highlight hurtful events but rather call my families' attention to fortuitous, positive moments that occur day by day.

There were numerous sticky notes with baseball tributes which, serendipity insisted, I removed weeks in advance of the New Year. Somehow my motherly instinct, my gut, whispered these experiences would be a source of pain, not joy. As Trey unfolded a narrow sticky note a shadow crossed his face and he quietly crumbled up a joy into a miniature wad, a spitball. "Some memories are best not saved," he stated. Later I unfolded his discarded memory, mid-June and his baseball team, having hit a triple at the Father's Day tournament. This particular day he asked if a home-run might qualify him for a cell phone. Knowing how hard he works at the game, I happily accepted his bet. In spite of the deep hit ball, it was just shy of getting him to the home-plate cell phone; we laughed that day about money saved merely by a few inches. This particular baseball memory must have slipped by my pre-sort selection process; or perhaps I erroneously reasoned I wanted him to appreciate his tremendous growth in spite of being the only child cut from the team at the end of the season. Regardless, based on his subdued response to the one memory that escaped mom's filtering process, I am glad I trusted my gut and removed the others.
So, what is the take-away from my first Joy Jar experiment? When I challenged the family in January 2014 to identify the positive and record it for a December 31st, year end review, I did not anticipate 2014 memories labeled as "Top Moments," would evolve into the "Worst of the Worst," (watch the ESPN countdown for reference!) It did not occur to me in January that I might need to do a December cursory exam of the highlights to protect my kids from the low-lights. With consideration, joy into pain and pain into joy is a fairly natural, common occurrence in life. It's not unusual to lose someone or something that you love only to see life morph into a different design and direction. As a parent I try to spare my children, while they are still children, from unnecessary pain. Sometimes however pain is swift and sudden rendering protection unavailable; thus the best recourse, time, healing and encouragement.
2014 was a year of valuable lessons. I see them personally as I review my blog posts. Maybe you review the past year with or without algorithmic assistance from Facebook and discover your own abundance. From a spring break vacation with my son to Florida, academic lessons, hard fought victories (and losses) on the field/court, to awareness that not all relationships are as they appear; life is still good, life is worth celebrating, life is worth doing. People who matter are worth forgiving; sadness, hurt, grudges are too heavy for a soul to carry; my kids' happiness means more to me than my own. Yes, our 2015 Joy Jar has already begun, we will strive to recognize the goodness each day offers and perhaps be a little less surprised at the evolution of our joys in December of 2015. We added to our Joy Jar last night, following Jen Hatmaker's suggestion, areas we want to try harder (strength-training..10 pull-ups by the end of the year) and areas that we want to focus on less (cyberspace/cell phones.)
Jen Hatmaker's Things I am going to try harder on in 2015:
keeping my room clean (what am I, 12??)
keeping my inbox from total entropy
meal planning
neighboring
wasting less time (except when I want to)
more of My People
Things I am not going to try harder on in 2015:
answering my phone/texts (sorry, people...it is what it is)
my kids' homework (managing/coaching/begging)
counting calories/fat/carbs (just no...life is too short)
keeping "Not My People" happy
What about you? What is on your list?
You may wonder, what made it to the Joy Jar after the Wisconsin vs. Auburn Outback Bowl. "Build your own nachos, thick, spicy chili, and a bunch of Trey's friends (plus Ron) enjoying the game together."
Happy New Year...Thank you for reading.
2014 was a year of valuable lessons. I see them personally as I review my blog posts. Maybe you review the past year with or without algorithmic assistance from Facebook and discover your own abundance. From a spring break vacation with my son to Florida, academic lessons, hard fought victories (and losses) on the field/court, to awareness that not all relationships are as they appear; life is still good, life is worth celebrating, life is worth doing. People who matter are worth forgiving; sadness, hurt, grudges are too heavy for a soul to carry; my kids' happiness means more to me than my own. Yes, our 2015 Joy Jar has already begun, we will strive to recognize the goodness each day offers and perhaps be a little less surprised at the evolution of our joys in December of 2015. We added to our Joy Jar last night, following Jen Hatmaker's suggestion, areas we want to try harder (strength-training..10 pull-ups by the end of the year) and areas that we want to focus on less (cyberspace/cell phones.)
Jen Hatmaker's Things I am going to try harder on in 2015:
keeping my room clean (what am I, 12??)
keeping my inbox from total entropy
meal planning
neighboring
wasting less time (except when I want to)
more of My People
Things I am not going to try harder on in 2015:
answering my phone/texts (sorry, people...it is what it is)
my kids' homework (managing/coaching/begging)
counting calories/fat/carbs (just no...life is too short)
keeping "Not My People" happy
What about you? What is on your list?
You may wonder, what made it to the Joy Jar after the Wisconsin vs. Auburn Outback Bowl. "Build your own nachos, thick, spicy chili, and a bunch of Trey's friends (plus Ron) enjoying the game together."
Happy New Year...Thank you for reading.