Do you ever notice a recurring theme central to your life? The theme changes with life's seasons, perhaps it reappears with a slightly different tune. Whether relationships, politics, parenting, health, or spirituality every television show, website, book or news source reinforces the theme's existence. For my own life, the current theme tends to repeat itself among my friends and exercise clients. Perhaps the theme's refrain exists among my peer group as many of us are nearing 40 with children at pre-teen ages. The recurring theme for me is that of body image (The Biggest Loser), skill development (Dancing with the Stars and American Idol), and the challenge to raise children who are driven by purpose rather than by appearance.
Recently we visited my sister in Raleigh, North Carolina. She wisely emphasizes to her 4 & 6 year old children, the importance of making healthy choices whether related to food habits, sleep habits, exercise, or relationships. She consciously avoids using words like fat or pretty and instead motivates her kids to make the healthy choice. Labels tend to stick with us from childhood. Although they don't necessarily need to define us as adults, given the option my preference would be that as a young girl my daughter strives to be healthy, strong, fit, educated, kind, and generous rather than pretty, thin, rich, or popular. Unfortunately, according to the view we see in the grocery store tabloids, fashion magazines, or even from my arsenal of anti-aging skincare weapons, she may construe that pretty, rich, thin and popular are of greater value in our society than healthy and purposeful.
Fortunately there are opportunities to balance these damaging media messages with programs and peer models that encourage goal setting, action and
empowerment. Pursuing hobbies like music, art, and sports permit children to develop social, physical, and psychological skills. In addition, engaging in activities for a purpose greater than ones self builds confidence and personal value. Watching American Idol this season I am impressed by the talent, poise, and passion these young adults display as they pursue their dreams. Many of them have faced poverty, injury, and hardships yet have excelled far beyond the labels our culture might place on them (i.e. nerd, behavioral issues, eccentric). Many of the performers would thankfully NOT be labeled as "cool" by our culture. If my child's goal is to appear "cool," there is a good chance they will also be quite boring and predictable. Change and growth requires risk. I am thankful my kids can watch young adults succeed outside of the realm of Hollywood actors. These musicians seek to connect with their audience rather than be aloof and reclusive. Their success is not in their appearance, not from being pretty, thin or rich, but from being determined and passionate in their purpose from a young age. In case you missed it last night, Casey Abrams, a self-described awkward guy, transforms the upright bass into a vogue accessory!
Recently we visited my sister in Raleigh, North Carolina. She wisely emphasizes to her 4 & 6 year old children, the importance of making healthy choices whether related to food habits, sleep habits, exercise, or relationships. She consciously avoids using words like fat or pretty and instead motivates her kids to make the healthy choice. Labels tend to stick with us from childhood. Although they don't necessarily need to define us as adults, given the option my preference would be that as a young girl my daughter strives to be healthy, strong, fit, educated, kind, and generous rather than pretty, thin, rich, or popular. Unfortunately, according to the view we see in the grocery store tabloids, fashion magazines, or even from my arsenal of anti-aging skincare weapons, she may construe that pretty, rich, thin and popular are of greater value in our society than healthy and purposeful.
Fortunately there are opportunities to balance these damaging media messages with programs and peer models that encourage goal setting, action and
empowerment. Pursuing hobbies like music, art, and sports permit children to develop social, physical, and psychological skills. In addition, engaging in activities for a purpose greater than ones self builds confidence and personal value. Watching American Idol this season I am impressed by the talent, poise, and passion these young adults display as they pursue their dreams. Many of them have faced poverty, injury, and hardships yet have excelled far beyond the labels our culture might place on them (i.e. nerd, behavioral issues, eccentric). Many of the performers would thankfully NOT be labeled as "cool" by our culture. If my child's goal is to appear "cool," there is a good chance they will also be quite boring and predictable. Change and growth requires risk. I am thankful my kids can watch young adults succeed outside of the realm of Hollywood actors. These musicians seek to connect with their audience rather than be aloof and reclusive. Their success is not in their appearance, not from being pretty, thin or rich, but from being determined and passionate in their purpose from a young age. In case you missed it last night, Casey Abrams, a self-described awkward guy, transforms the upright bass into a vogue accessory!
My daughter had the privilege of serving as the watergirl/manager for our local high school girls varsity basketball team. This team was a powerhouse, finishing the season at 18-5 and twice beating the state qualifiers. The team consisted of teens of all sizes, athletic abilities, and economic backgrounds but they united on the common purpose of team excellence. As a parent watching from the stands, the excellence on the court had nothing to do with their hair, body type, fashion choices, or the car they drove. Their excellence was in their sportsmanship, their kindness to a 10 year old, their dedication at practice, their positive energy even when they struggled against the opposition. Auburn's confidence soared when she independently rode with the team around the state to games. She huddled with the girls, shared pinky holds on the bench, rejoiced when they won, and shed a few tears when the season ended. These young women influenced Auburn in a positive manner and completely counter to the Disney tween shows and commercials. They also influenced her as peer models which, as a parent, it is impossible for me to do.
Yesterday evening Auburn and Trey participated in a basketball training program at Concordia University. They returned home with a detailed outline of their 1:1 practice; acronyms to help them Align, Balance/Bend, and Connect the Dots (ABC's); and enthusiasm for the experience. Their young coaches are athletes, coincidentally brother and sister, who play on respective Concordia basketball teams. The coaches were engaging, athletic, skilled, and vested in their work. Sharing their enthusiasm and work ethic clearly empowered Auburn and Trey. My assessment was the personal training session was worth far more than the $25 fee. Investing in skill development pays dividends of competence. With competence, comes confidence. Confidence is certainly a trait that developed at a young age will lead to success in school, work, relationships and overall well-being. Again, I am thankful for unexpected relationships that appear at critical times in my childrens' development.
One of my friends shared this video clip of surfer Bethany Hamilton. For such a young woman and for the difficulties she has experienced she certainly speaks with confidence regarding her own life purpose. I look forward to sharing this clip with my children too. Thank you for reading!
One of my friends shared this video clip of surfer Bethany Hamilton. For such a young woman and for the difficulties she has experienced she certainly speaks with confidence regarding her own life purpose. I look forward to sharing this clip with my children too. Thank you for reading!
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